killyourself

killyourself @ 2006-03-13T13:19:00

2006-03-13T18:42:28Z

WOW! its been a while since ive been on this. i havent even checked it out in months and months. i wonder when the last post i did was. anyway i feel like updating so some people who still use this can see how im doing lately. things have been pretty great. ive been the busyiest ive even been. well it feels that way at least. i work 2 jobs and go to school full time. i work at alto cinco on the weekends which is like the best resturant to work for in syracuse. its more like hanging out with friends than working. we get so slammed on weekends too. its definetly a hot stop to go to in syracuse. my other job is repairing luggage for dj's parents. for those of you who dont know dj hes been one of my best friends since like 8th grade. hes the equivilance of my brother. i havent hung out with him as much as i would like to lately but thats another story. anyways so the job is sweet. its a good ratio of working with your hands and being crafty as hell to repair some of the damages. plus i get payed under the table. school is going really good. ive been doing my work and getting good grades. im currently taking 19th century american history, oceanography lab (i already took the class and the lab is counted as a whole other class), meterology without a lab (same deal as ocean) and organic chemistry. lately ive had to deal with a good amount of drama but im dealing with it just fine. drama is going to happen as long as there is human interaction. its just another part of life that you cant let get to you. i have so much work to do this week, and by this week i mean i have like today tomarrow and part of wednesday. i have to read a lot of history and set up outlines for my midterm on wednesday. i also need to finish a procedure for a chem lab today at 5 and finish last weeks lab for wednesday. i need to pack as well but i might just end up doing that wednesday night when im dont with school shit for a little more than a week. park for what you say? fuckin HAWAII! i leave thursday morning. its only costing me $30 to get there and back to jersey then the cost of getting home from nj/nyc. and i have a free place to say there with my friends angie. i cant wait to be on vacation in a tropical island. im gonna learn how to surf when it began, go in a shark cage in the ocean and hopefully skydive just to name a few things. its going to be amazing. oh ya another thing about school, i know im jumping around a lot, but im almost finished with occ finally. i only need like one more class after this semester. i might take summer classes or i might just stay another semseter and take a couple more classes to boost my gpa. after that i plan on moving out to cali where i hope to eventually get into berkeley for chemistry. i hope things work out. if i do good there im sure i can get into grad school anywhere plus if i stay with chem im sure grad school will be free! well i think i summed up just about most eveything going on with me lately. i missed a few things but im sick of livejournal again and i need to get to my school work. i didnt proof read or spell check this so im sure theres a lot of errors that i dont care about.

killyourself @ 2005-06-19T11:50:00

2005-06-19T16:01:17Z

so heres a little update for anyone who cares. lately ive been working mon-fri at proscapes landscaping and working sat and sun at alto cinco washing dishes. thats pretty much all i do is work. when im not working im either mountain biking, thinking about mountain biking, smoking, chillin, or sleeping. i havent been keeping in touch with a lot of people. im sorry to those whom ive neglected. ive just been keepin myself busy. its nice to have money again but once i get it i spend it all. whatever theres a bunch of things i would like to buy. mainly shit for mountain biking. i think joe and i might plan out a trip soon to cali in august for a week. that would fuckin rule. ive been thinking a lot about moving to cali. well see what happens in a year after i get my degree. there are ideas going around with a few friends to all move out to cali and just take over. i have downhill fever and i wanna go to whiteface mountain very soon. i got a full face helmet and im getting shin guards in the mail now. in a few weekends i have to make it up there. alright i think thats enough rambling for now.

killyourself @ 2005-05-28T10:41:00

2005-05-28T14:48:43Z

so heres an updat for all you internet folks. for the last 2 weeks ive been working my ass off for this:

that is my new amazing gary fisher mountain bike. well i dont have it yet but i think next weekend it will be mine. i really havent been doing anything but working. i landscape during the week then i work at alto cinco on the weekends. and when im not working im sleeping or hang out with dave or joe mama. one i get that bike all i will be doing is biking when possible. i dont really have anything else to say except im eating eggs and toast and im about to wash my car. oh ya i got all B's this semester. im proud of myself for that.

killyourself @ 2005-04-15T11:55:00

2005-04-15T15:56:29Z

In about a week i'll be rockin' there as my new kicks:

Went to NYC last weekend with Josh. stayed with Maggie. It was fun except I got sick right before we left but I got better. We ate and slept a lot. Now i'm waiting for Bob and im going to PHILLY with him and Derek. Philly cheese steak!!!!!!!!! We'll thats enought updating for another few months.

killyourself @ 2004-12-22T20:31:00

2004-12-23T01:38:35Z

so i finally got a winter hat that i like. i ended up stealing it ebcause i didnt feel like paying $25 for a fucking hat. its a never summer and i want one of their snowboards soo bad. they are amazing. next eyar thats what im getting. im pretty bored. theres nothing to do. the last few days have been almost identical. i think im gonna ride this weekend if i have a day off. we got the passes into the store so i can go whenever now. i found this old jamie lynn lib tech board in the attic of the cru house so i took it to tune it so phil has something to ride this winter. i want him to come riding with me. 3 days until x-mas. all i can wait for is the x-mas breakfast/brunch my parents make. something better happen tonight so i dont end up falling asleep in like an hour.

killyourself @ 2004-12-20T13:05:00

2004-12-20T18:18:00Z

ive been working a good amount lately which is awsome. i need money and i love my job. its so much fun. christmas is almost here and i havent gotten anyone anything yet. i might do that today depending on if i have to work today or not. i kinda hope not so i can get the shopping done. i havent gotten any email in days which sucks balls. jon james and zach are back from buffalo now. hopefully i will hang out with all of them soon. i know ill hang with jon definetly. there hasnt been too much going on around town. or maybe im just bored of doing the same stuff all the time. all i know is i wanna snowboard dammit. i need to tune my board. i also might do that today too. ive been smoking a lot lately, espically with the cru. i dont know where im going with this post i guess i was just bored and trying to waste time. on another note phil and i found the greatest thing last night at like 4:20 (perfect timing too because we were high). the bacon egg and cheese on a McGriddle is puuure heaven. we had to go through the drive through again so we could get more. i really cannot wait for my lake placid trip. its gonna be a great week. christmas in 5 days and my birthday in 9!!! later bros

killyourself @ 2004-12-03T12:06:00

2004-12-03T17:07:31Z

i got most of my shit from burton today in the mail. now its time to put the snowboard back up on ebay to make money off of this deal. things lately have been great. i dont really have anything to say right now.

killyourself @ 2004-11-23T11:10:00

2004-11-23T16:28:34Z

yesterday was amazing. i went shopping! and i spend like $325 at zumiez when it would have been like $500-600. annnnd i got pro forms from burton and special blend so that means i can get really cheap stuff directly from the company. i love shopping for myself hahaha. so heres what i got:

planet earth jacket
some jacket for pete
ipath grasshopper shoes
3 snowboarding company t shirts to wear during work
stickets
wax iron
tuning kit
wax
snowboarding socks

the planet earth jacket is the greatest thing ever. its got fur around the hood and all this awsome shit. yesterday was definetly a great day in more ways that one. something good is going to happen i believe. ROCHESTER tonight for MARATHON! YES! alright i got nothing and i have to read for a quiz in history.

killyourself @ 2004-11-22T04:48:00

2004-11-22T09:52:49Z

im really high so this is to remind me of what i need to do tomarrow because im sure i wont remember.

injection cleaner shit
air intake filter
shopping at zumiez DISCOUNT!!
clear coat buffer
board tuning kit
shoes
deck

toronto was a great time. lots of fun and jack daniels/good pot. tonight was a lot of fun too. more pot, cru jones are home!!!! fire.pancake.newadultswim.

killyourself @ 2004-11-18T13:01:00

2004-11-18T18:03:54Z

so stephany has to work saturday so i guess we are not gonna go see slayer. i really wanted to see them but at the same time i dont care. i watched their new dvd at trinity and all it is is a light show basically. they just stand there and play. so im going to TORONTO instead with peter and bill. it should be a really good time. i dont have anything else except for i want today to be over with already because i dont want to be at school until 9!

killyourself @ 2004-11-09T20:16:00

2004-11-10T01:18:47Z

so i got this job at zumiez at great northern mall by just going in to visit mikey. that means i dont have to buy a season pass anymore because the store has passes for its employees. and i got 50% off my first purchase of the total amount so im going to buy all my gear at once. i cant wait to start riding this season.

killyourself @ 2004-11-08T13:09:00

2004-11-08T18:31:31Z

this weekend was amazing. it was well needed in more ways than one. im definetly going to be going on more tours with them.

time shall heal all

2004-11-04T08:56:50Z

seeing them together tonight pissed me off. i wish i could fight things and make everything better but that would only make things worse and i dont hate him. in fact i like him. im sure i would do the same in his situation. but still seeing them gets to me. whatever. what should i expect from her? shes young. i just need to stop being a baby and get over this shit. its hard but i will conquer these emotions. i just dont think i want to see her for a while. seeing her sets things off again. i just gotta keep reminding myself i broke it off for a reason. im sure im driving her nuts too with all the shit. this weekend is weeeeeell needed. its going to be an awesome time even tho ill be on the road for only 3 days and going a state away. i know she will read this at one point so im trying my best not to sound mean or anything that will cause more drama because i dont want that. so in conclusion i need to suck it up and get over it. i just hope one day she will realize what she missed out on. that is all.

ps - punching kennys wall helped a lot and grade (under the radar cd) is awsome.

killyourself @ 2004-11-01T04:03:00

2004-11-01T09:06:12Z

the weekend pretty much sucked except for bob and dana being here. TAKARU is awsome. they played good at the show today. saturday i got fucking trashed at demetras and by the end of the night i tried to run to dennys to meet bob and stephany and see my cousin bob who i heard from the other bob that he was there. anyways i almost got to the blvd then julie and neight drove by and made me get into the car and they drove me there. i got a cramp while i was running. it is a pretty funny story so if you want to hear it ask bob and he will tell you it. nothing else fuck off now.

bored at school

2004-10-28T21:54:13Z

-this weekend parties up the ass
-next weekend on the road with ENGINEER

killyourself @ 2004-10-26T20:56:00

2004-10-27T01:04:12Z

i got my STILL LIFE cds in the mail the other day. sooooo good. im going to make everyone listen to them. last couple of days have been good for me. anyways i had my first exam for history today. it wasnt as bad as i thought it would be. i didnt study at all either. i was going to the morning but my alarm didnt go off so i woke up later then i wanted to and i decided to shower instead of study. i think i did pretty decent though. after that i decided to skip bio and nap but instead i took a road trip out to dewitt wegmans to surprise someone. then i came home and washed/cleaned my car for a few hours. now im starving and im going to get alto cinco very soon.

killyourself @ 2004-10-25T00:30:00

2004-10-25T04:40:15Z

i drank more jack and coke this weekend. definitely the only thing i enjoy drinking. the show today was pretty good. hand of glory was decent. the vocals were too low tho and you really couldnt hear anything but the guitar. the next band i didnt see because i was getting food. walk the line seemed to play good but i dont really care for their sound. COLISEUM was AMAZING. the bassist was a total metal head with long hair and he was headbanging while he played. i feel in love with him. the singer reminded me of chuck hicky but meaner and with a longer beard. hot cross was bad. i dont really care for them in the first place but they seemed to not care about the show because it was the last one on the tour. i cant wait til next weekend. i think dans having a party friday then demetra is having one saturday and then halloween sunday and im sure there will be a million parties. i need to buy a big bottle of jack for this weekend. im gonna be tore up. i am definitely crazy when im drunk. derek and neight know all about me being drunk. i need to find a blueskiefade cd but the actual cd not a copy. i emailed this kid about it so hopefully he has more laying around somewhere. i also want to find their shirt somewhere. if anyone has this stuff from when they played here a long time ago i will buy them off of you. alright i got nothin.

AMAZING

2004-10-20T08:50:25Z

horrorbusiness90: <3
DyingBirds: <33333
DyingBirds: i win
horrorbusiness90: <33333333333333333333333333333333333333
DyingBirds: <33333333333333333333333333
DyingBirds: ha!
horrorbusiness90: <3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333
DyingBirds: noooooo
DyingBirds: hahahahah

horrorbusiness90: i can do this all night so lets just say its a tie and we equally love each other
DyingBirds: hahah ok

killyourself @ 2004-10-20T01:58:00

2004-10-20T06:05:43Z

so last night i couldnt sleep and neither could derek, josh or stephany so we all went to dennys on 7th north and got breakfast. then i wont a stuffed animal out of the machine when everyone said i couldnt and then we brought stephany to school. then we all dispersed and i slept until i had class. did that. then slept for my hour break then went to my other class then went to my grandparents to get cans and bottles and returned them then went to dereks and hung out for a while then went to liverpool and hung out there for a bit. i think derek and i are going to steal wood tonight so we can have fires. derek made these for us this morning:

I GOT THE BIGGEST HEART!!!!!!!!!!

killyourself @ 2004-10-18T03:15:00

2004-10-18T07:39:17Z

i decided to delete my last post and redo it. i had am awsome weekend. other than that ive been kinda down lately. i wish i wasnt but i can help it. i am really lonely. i have nothing to look forware to in the morning. i hate waking up sometimes. i hate sleeping alone. i wish i had a girlfriend who really cared for me and loved me. i cant find anyone that i want to be in a relationship with tho. theres one person whom i might consider but who knows about that. she is all about someone else who is a good friend if mine. who knows if it would even work out between us anyways. i dont have the best luck with relationships. either way i guess it doesnt matter. i mean i like her but whatever. i dont really care either way as long as we are still friends because shes awsome to hang out with. im not really worried about it. you know who you are if your reading this. well on another note i cant stop thinking about my relationship with helen. it pisses me off that everything happened but what should i have expected. i never really thought she cared about me too much. i mean i can safly say that due to how thigns are now. she never tries to get ahold of me. there was that one weekend where we actually hung out but thats it. sometiems i wish i didnt go to chicago because we might still be dating now but if it happened then it prolly would have happened eventually. a little bird told me that she said she was getting bored with me anyways. that sucks. it makes me feel like shit. im not sure if its true or not but whatever. i really liked her too but i guess she just didnt care. i wish i knew how she feels about everything but i guess i will never know. communication was never that great between us. i wish i could change things but i cant. all i can do is suck it up and be a man and bury it down deep inside like all the other bad things that have happened to me. ill get over it fully in time. i wish i knew why everything happened. is there something wrong with me in her eyes? i dont know. i dont think there is anything wrong with me. i need to stop dwelling on it but i cant. i dont know why. i think i just feel like i did something wrong or something. but i just cant figure out what it was. whatever. im done with this post.

killyourself @ 2004-10-16T13:49:00

2004-10-16T17:56:35Z

so i got really trashed last night off jack and coke and i was outta control. it was so much for for me to be that trashed. i dont like doing it often tho. at one point me and joel and pete went to mikeys/kins aot down near the community senter and they had more jack and coke but no clean cups so i was drinking it out of a bowl. the show was pretty awsome. of course ENGINEER was AMAZING! marathon was great and so was anotehr breath. i didnt really care for the other bands. and the best part of last night was i was talking to bob (my cousin bob not my lover bob) and they are going down to pa fir first weekened in november for a mini weekend tour and IM GOING WITH THEM! im sooooooo excited about it. its going to be ENGINEER, achilles and another breath for 3 days straight! jealous? YOU'RE JEALOUS!

killyourself @ 2004-10-15T02:14:00

2004-10-15T06:16:18Z

so tonight on westcott street i got hit on by this big fat black woman. well she wasnt really hittin on my but she was complementing me by saying i was really hot and sizzle hot. it was amazing. she said i looked like ashton kushner but way hotter. and i have a style or something. all i know was it made my night.

killyourself @ 2004-10-11T03:25:00

2004-10-11T07:30:17Z

for anyone who doesnt know the cru jones cd is amazing. i finally borrowed it off someone and ripped it onto my computer. neight got me addicted to it on the weekened when we went to purchase/nyc. its not leaving my cd player for weeks now. i miss those dudes. i was finally learning their names and then they left for tour. if you havent heard it i will send it to you. they sound like taking back sunday but they are so good. on another note i need to top bobs halloween costume of the hamburgeraler?? by figuring out a way to be master shake! i might end up making the costume somehow. all i know is i NEED this. my shoes are still badass! suuuckers

killyourself @ 2004-10-10T21:58:00

2004-10-11T02:01:22Z

pete found this yesterday and i stole it:

killyourself @ 2004-10-10T02:55:00

2004-10-10T07:01:07Z

so friday dan and i took a walk down to marshall street and i found these on top of a garbage can:

best thing to ever happen to me. they are in almost mint condition except the heels on the inside are busted. and they fit perfect!